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08/24/2006: "Tanglewood"

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So, here's a little story about my short experience in the restaurant world. It's not for everyone, including me. At least not this early in my career. I thought I could handle it, but standing for 14 hours a day took a toll on my body and mind. Although, it may just seem like an excuse, it wasn't the only reason why I left. Sure, people have it much harder, I just don't think I'm ready for all of that yet.

I know I've disappointed a lot of people in making my decision. But, given the circumstance, it was in my best interest that I leave. No, it wasn't just the standing for the whole day that got to me, although it was a part of it. I even changed shoes several times during the week.

For starters, I didn't feel I was useful enough to make a difference there. Sometimes, I felt that I was in the way. Chef said I was in the top three in my class, but I think anyone could do what I was doing at the restaurant. I strained just to make enough product to make it to the end of the service, and cut it a little too close.

We didn't have a head pastry chef, but some how people looked to me for answers, answers I don't know if I was qualified to answer. It would be more of a guess than an answer. I don't like lying to people, and guessing is pretty close.

I'm not sure how to explain how everything has affected me, just that at this point in time I think I'm over my head in the restaurant business. I'm probably not as strong as people think I am... I apologize to everyone I have affected in my decision, mostly Vanessa. Vanessa you're the greatest.

Perhaps I'll add more when I have a chance to be less emotional.
Bitching by Adam @ 09:41 AM PST